Unfortunately this post bears extremely sad news. On Monday, August 8, 2011, we lost my wonderful grandmother. My heart is still broken, yet I'm comforted knowing she is out of pain and at peace.
I was lucky enough to grow up next door to my fraternal grandparents. In fact, it was their farm we used for our engagement pictures. As a kid, I simply had to take a 3 minute walk through the back fields to reach their house. Grandma would always have candy bars in the fridge and we'd sip on grandpa's delicious "iced tea" concoction (I know it had Tang mixed in there!). My grandparents read to my sister and I all the time and taught us how to become fairly good rummy players. I clearly remember answering my first final Jeopardy! question correctly in their living room (they were avid viewers).
While these are memories I will always treasure, one memory I will not having is the two of them being there on my wedding day. Grandpa passed away 10 years ago, but I always expected grandma would be there with us. My heart aches each time I think of how she'll never see me in my dress or witness our beautiful Mass.
I have no doubt they both will be with me in spirit on that day. I am grateful grandma was able to meet and get to know Mr. Ballcap and she adored him. She was so happy for me and loved that I found a good, Catholic, Polish boy! Her faith was the strongest I have ever witnessed. I want to be sure to honor her and my grandfather in the best possible way during our ceremony.
This week we will take the time to mourn and honor this amazing woman. She'd give my dupa a swift kick if I didn't get back into the joy and fun of wedding planning soon. Losing a loved one is never easy, but losing her before one of the most important days in my life magnifies the grief.
I wish I didn't have to write such a heavy post, and there is no way my words can appropriately convey all I'm feeling, but I know I am not alone. I have an amazing family and an even more amazing fiance that provide a fantastic support system.
To those of you out there who may also be grieving, may your family and faith help you through this difficult time.
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