I kind of forgot about the part of the ceremony where we say our vows.
Now, obviously I knew we were going to say vows, but after choosing the version we wanted during a meeting with our Priest, they never really crossed my mind again! We weren't writing our own and we didn't go over them during rehearsal. The weeks leading up to the wedding were filled with final details and I knew Father would guide us through the ceremony, so I never went through it in my mind.
After Father's homily, he asked us to turn towards one another and join our right hands. I immediately had a brief flash of panic. This was it! It was time to say our vows. How could I not have thought about this beforehand? However, by not going over that moment in my head, the emotions and feelings were natural and raw.
Catholic wedding vows are preceded by three questions from the priest. Mr. Ball Cap and I responded "Yes" after each question.
Sunhat and Ball Cap, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?
Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
With tears in his eyes, Mr. Ball Cap then repeated his vows:
I, Ball Cap, take you, Sunhat, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
With shaky hands and a happy heart, I then said my vows:
I, Sunhat, take you, Ball Cap, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
I made it through the first sentence and then had to compose myself. There was so much love in Ball Cap's eyes and I was feeling so much joy that I had to pause in order to avoid going into full-on ugly cry!
Father then asked for the rings and blessed them.
Lord, bless these rings which we bless in your name.
Grant that those who wear them
may always have a deep faith in each other.
May they do your will
and always live together
in peace, good will, and love.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Mr. Ball Cap placed my wedding band on my ring finger and said:
Sunhat, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
I then slipped Mr. Ball Cap's band onto his left ring finger and said:
Ball Cap, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
The vows had been said and the rings were exchanged, but one thing you won't hear at a Catholic wedding is “I now pronounce you man and wife.” Catholics believe that the couple becomes husband and wife not because the minister declares them to be such, but because they have given their consent and made their vows to each other. The function of the priest is to preside and witness these vows, not to make the marriage happen.
So on our day, instead of prounouncing us man and wife or exclaiming "you may now kiss the bride!," Father simply acknowledged to the two of us that it was time to kiss.
The kiss was perfect. Not too long, not too short, and church appropriate. We did not practice it ahead of time. It was natural and perfectly us.
Father then directed us to turn towards our guests and everyone applauded. We were married!
Up Next: Ceremony Conclusion
Images by Stephen Martin Photography
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